My Mother Made Me Drink – August 15, 2016

*phone rings*

“Hello Mother…”

“Hello Daughter…”

(she’s catching on to my sarcasm…cool!)

We talk about general stuff and then she said, “there was something else I was going to ask you. I can’t remember.”

“Was it about the dog?”

“No. I already asked about him.”

“Was it about my birthday? That’s coming up…”


“No. That’s always gonna be there. It wasn’t that. I’ll call you when it comes to me. Bye.”


*if you’re not following me on Twitter, you may not know that last month, my dog got a birthday present. It’s a milestone birthday. He’s five. She bought him a stuffed toy from The Secret Life of Pets. For those of you who DO follow me on Twitter…yes I’m still jealous.



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