Reading is Fundamental

I was skimming the NYTime’s series My Bookshelf, Myself and started making a list of things to read. Even though there are a lot of books all over my apartment. They’re on coffee tables, book shelves, ottomans, the floor, on a feature wall in my apartment designed to showcase my favourite things..

I’m a reader. When I was 2, I wanted to be like my big sister (who is 5 years older)…and do everything she does. She sat me down with her and taught me how to read…Winnie the Pooh was her favourite and it was my first series.

I can’t date a man who doesn’t read. I’m a snob that way. You have to read books. Articles. Journals. Something more that a twitter feed or I will judge you. One guy proudly told me that he hadn’t read a book since he left high school…25 years earlier.



I think once I start dating again, I’ll ask a man for his Top 10 books before the first date. Otherwise what will be the point?

It was fucking hard…but here are mine:



  1. Giovanni’s Room –James Baldwin
  2. Go Tell it on the Mountain – James Baldwin
  3. The Robber Bride – Margaret Atwood
  4. The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood
  5. Nine Stories – J.D. Salinger
  6. Trading Up – Candace Bushnell
  7. The Empress of the Last Days – Jane Stevenson
  8. A Wrinkle in Time – Madeline L’Engle
  9. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – C.S. Lewis
  10. Rush Home Road – Lori Lansens

Yours? (I may judge you…and go ahead for judging my Candace Bushnell choice…I choose my choice!)

*This list could’ve been all James Baldwin really…but I wanted to mix it up.
*My Favourite Salinger story is “A Perfect Day for Bananafish” 
*The Empress of the Last Days is the third part of a trilogy…so don’t start there
*Rush Home Road was a book I finished in less than a day…I devoured it. I love it that much.
*Chronicles of Narnia >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Harry Potter. Don’t @ me.



Ain’t It Funny

I’ve been thinking about my exes lately…

Not because I want to.

Like a cold sore on my social life and emotional balance, they pop up…to say hi…to add me as a friend on FB…follow me on Instagram…to join their LinkedIn network…


Yes, really. LinkedIn…what kind of recommendation am I gonna give you motherfucker?

Now here’s the plot twist: the exes that are coming around saying hello from the other side are not the guys I would expect to come come around.

You may think that my acid tongue has left a trail of broken hearts, but no. Every guy who has come looking for me in the last 12 months…has been someone who dumped me.


I KNOW, right?

So now we’re exes, yes?

As in X = unknown.

My taste in men are diverse…so I have exes in different area codes, social groups, interest groups, tax brackets… I don’t really have a type. When things end, I’m fortunate (??) enough to not have to worry about “bumping” into them at “our spot” or anything weird. With a couple, we share the same social circles, but those interactions are generally harmless. I rarely add guys I’m dating to my social media channels, so when they come looking, they have sought me out…

I’m confused by this.

Part of my confusion is that I’m not really sentimental and I like clean breaks from things.

I don’t generally cry over breakups – I usually get angry/annoyed. In the past 10 years, I think I’ve cried over one break up. I don’t keep mementoes – I have given back presents! I may delete your number. Usually my reaction to a break up is this…


…and my reaction to my exes popping up like whack a moles who have lost their way and are asking me to be online friends is kinda like this:


Someone suggested that they’re checking in to see who “won the breakup”. Who’s moved on. Who upgraded. Which one is sitting at home posting pictures on their Instagram using the lyrics to All By Myself as captions.

YOU dumped me. Doesn’t that make YOU the loser?


But seriously. I can’t compete with them in the breakup games because I forgot to enter the competition. Have I googled an ex to see what they’re up to? Yes. Have I creeped on an ex’s social media feed? Uhm…yes. Right after I accept their request. Do I miss any of them?

(One. But I wouldn’t tell him…#pride)

But I don’t go looking for them. When they come looking for me, I wonder what they’re expecting to find?

As I delete FB friend requests from the scary exes (think “restraining order”) and ignore the LinkedIn requests from the benign ones (again WHAT kind of recommendation are you looking for), I guess I’ll chalk it up to the random that is my life.

Love is crazy, I’m glad I can smile and say

Ain’t that funny

#MyMotherMadeMeDrink – The Vietnamese Godmother Edition…

My best sisterfriends from childhood are a Vietnamese. Basically, we grew up in each other’s households and did the trendy cultural exchange thing long before hipsters went on soul searching trips to Asia.

Our mothers think of us as “extra daughters” and treat us as such. The upside? Amazing home cooked meals (they get baked ham at Christmas…I get the best spring rolls in the city). The downside?

I have two mothers who can make me drink.

We just entered a new year in the Lunar calendar (happy new year!) and with the new year one prepares the house, honours the ancestors and gathers together as a family. I missed the family gathering, but my Vietnamese “mummy” made sure to ask for me.

(To my little sister): How is xo/rr? Is she still single*?


Here. Give her this when you see her.

My little sister came to hang out with me and see Deadpool** and as a greeting said,“Mummy says hi and to give you this.”



My reactions were kinda like this:




The last time I received a little red envelope was about 20 years ago. Why? Well…typically envelopes are given out to family members of all ages but most of the time, parents or other adults give them to kids.

Single. Unmarried. Kids.

You get a job? You get a little less than in your envelope.

You get married? You stop getting envelopes.

You have kids? You start GIVING envelopes.

My godmother gave me an envelope.


The shade of it all…

(I used the money to buy wine)


*to my godmother, “single” means I’m not married or even living with someone
**go see Deadpool. Just go see it.

Idris Elba is reportedly single…

Lainey and the Telegraph are reporting it…



The thought of Idris, alone…lonely…has women and men, married and single thinking…


(In their minds) They’re rushing to comfort their MY boo like…


Idris better be ready. Because it’s gonna look like this…


My thoughts?


But…I’m not taking my cues from Katninss.
I’mma take my cues from my other boo…



You want a girl on fire? Fine.


To all those who are rushing MY IDRIS?