#mymothermademedrink Netflix and Chill

Phone rings…

“Hello mother…”

“Do you have Netflix?”

“No… Why?”

“I was reading something about this ‘Netflix and chill’.”

“What is it?”

“It’s when guys (pauses to think about how to phrase this…thinks harder… aw fuck it) are too cheap to take you out on a date to the actual movies, so they either invite you over to watch a movie on Netflix, or ask to come to your house and watch a movie there.”

“So they’re new movies? Like that one with your boyfriend Idris?”

(YES. IDRIS IS MY BOYFRIEND. SHUT UP)

“No. It’s (pause) more like like Blockbuster.”

“But Blockbuster is gone? You can’t rent movies.”

“I know. Netflix kinda killed Blockbuster. Now you can order and watch the movies on your computer.”

“Men STILL don’t want to go to the movies? (sighs) You know, I loved going to the movies. But your father never wanted to go. Even when we were dating. I would just go by myself. Why don’t men like movies?”

“I dunno…”

“So, you get up. Get dressed for a date and go to a guy’s house to watch a movie?”

“Baaaaaaaaaaaasically”

“Hrumph. Or they come over and watch your computer. Probably expect you to make the popcorn too.”

“Yup”

“But you don’t have Netflix.”

“No. I like going to the movies.”

“Good. These damn men still wasting everyone’s time. How are you supposed to watch a movie on your computer? The screen is so small! And you’re just crammed up on the couch like…how is that comfortable? To watch movies that are already out? (kisses teeth).

But what’s the ‘chill’ part?”

#mymothermademedrink

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